It's late Friday night and Cove Crescent police precinct is being swamped with emergency calls about a bunch of giant clowns with orange fringe hair, big red noses, baggy polka dot suits and size 50 shoes who are zapping people into candy floss cocoons and sucking their blood through striped curly straws.

Oh! and by the way, I'm not kidding that IS actually what the movie is about. Enjoy!

Investigation finished: 2001-03-09

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Story: 5/10 - This has got to be the silliest concept of all time, how the hell do you get funding for something like this?

Acting: 0/10 - The lamest bunch of people you're likely to see this century.

Violence: 4/10 - Going for laughs rather than gore, but one guy has his head punched off (never underestimate a clown, folks).

Nudity: 0/10 - Why Stephen, why?

Coolness: 8/10 - In space no one can eat ice cream... It's got flesh-eating popcorn, hand-shadows that devour people and one poor zap is caked to death, what more could you ask for.

...a litle something from our surveilance?
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